Helping your child with friendships

Quick answer

Friendships become more important and more complicated between ages 8 and 14. Children start comparing themselves with others, forming groups, and dealing with jealousy, being left out or pressure to go along with the crowd. Ups and downs are a normal part of this stage. Parents can help by listening before advising, helping children name what happened and how they felt, and talking through what they could say or do next time. The guides below cover social skills and emotional understanding, and the courses let children practise specific friendship situations through stories.

What parents commonly notice

Coming home upset after being left out of a group
Feeling jealous when a friend spends time with someone else
Going along with things they aren't comfortable with to fit in
Finding it hard to join a new group

Skills children can practise

Starting and joining conversations
Handling jealousy without blaming
Saying no to peer pressure
Showing kindness and setting boundaries

Questions parents ask

How do I help my child make friends?
What do I do when my child is left out?
How can my child say no to friends?

LeadXkids guides on this topic

Social Skills for Kids
Which social skills matter for Indian children aged 8-14, why polite is not the same as socially skilled, and a weekly routine for the seven skills.
Emotional Intelligence for Kids
What emotional intelligence means for a child aged 8-14, the 5 sub-skills that decide adult success, and a weekly home routine for Indian parents.
My Child Says They Have No Friends at School
Hearing 'I have no friends' is hard. Here is how to listen first, understand what is happening, and help your child practise the skills friendships need.

Related courses

Make Friends with Confidence
Build friendships even after starting over
Handle Friendship Jealousy
When best friends drift apart
When Friends Don’t Include You (Exclusion bullying)
When “no one likes me” becomes a pattern
Say No to Peer Pressure
Handle peer pressure with confidence
Being Kind
Build empathy that shows up at home and outside
Know Your Boundaries
Respect others’ space, time, and things

Coming soon

Fix Fights with Friends (not yet available)

Courses are part of LeadXkids membership. See plans and the trial pass.

Free parent tools

Empathy and kindness
Noticing feelings, seeing other points of view, acting kindly without being asked, and including everyone — empathy you can observe.
Friendship Conversation Starters
Prompts for talking about joining in, listening, boundaries, disagreements and being left out.

Key terms

Social Emotional Learning (SEL)

Common questions

Should I step in when my child falls out with a friend?

Usually it helps more to listen first and help your child think through options. Step in directly if there is repeated unkindness or your child feels unsafe.

Is being left out the same as bullying?

A one-off can be ordinary friendship friction. Repeated, deliberate exclusion is a form of bullying; see the bullying topic for more.

Which course should we start with?

Pick the course that matches the situation your child is facing right now, such as making friends, jealousy or peer pressure.