Bullying Conversation Checklist
A calm, non-scored guide to changes you may notice, questions to ask, details to document and when to involve school staff.
Changes parents may notice
Look for changes from your child's usual pattern. One sign on its own can have many explanations.
- Not wanting to go to school, an activity or a particular place
- Losing friends suddenly or avoiding social situations
- Belongings being lost or damaged, or unexplained requests for money
- Poor sleep, nightmares, headaches or stomach aches
- Being upset after time online or unusually secretive about devices
- Unexplained bruises, scratches, anxiety or angry outbursts
Calm questions to open a conversation
Choose a private, low-pressure moment. Avoid demanding names before your child is ready.
- Who did you spend time with today?
- Was there any part of the day that felt difficult or uncomfortable?
- Is anyone making school or online time hard at the moment?
- What happened next?
- What would help you feel safer tomorrow?
- Would you like me to listen, help think of options, or speak with an adult?
What to document
Write facts rather than conclusions. This can help school staff see a pattern.
- Date, time and place
- What was said or done, in your child's words
- Who was present or may have seen it
- Any injury, missing item or damage
- Screenshots, messages or links for online incidents
- Who you contacted and the response or next action agreed
When to involve school staff
Contact the class teacher, school counsellor or relevant school lead when behaviour is repeated, deliberate, involves a power imbalance, or your child feels unsafe.
- Share the facts you recorded and ask what the school will do next
- Agree on a named contact and a follow-up date
- Ask how safety will be supported during school, transport and activities
- Avoid confronting the other child or family yourself
- Follow up promptly if the behaviour continues or the agreed action does not happen
When to seek urgent or professional support
A course or checklist cannot replace safety action or professional care.
- Seek urgent local help if there is immediate danger or a threat of serious harm
- Speak to a doctor or qualified mental-health professional if distress lasts for weeks, affects sleep or school, or your child talks about self-harm
- Keep the school informed when safety or school attendance is affected
Source used for this checklist
- Bullying: What is it and how to stop it — UNICEF Parenting